To My lovely Daughter

My beautiful princess.

I chose to write this letter to you, hoping that some day in this world you will or might view my blog and read it.

I love you so much, never forget that no matter what. You are my precious gift from God. My most valuable treasure i may add. You are my light in this world. Everything might have seems fallen but you make me see things differently. I want to let you know that you are my everything, my world revolve around your being. I am so proud to be you mother and as long as i live i promise to be the best mother one can be. I will and still cherish all our wonderful times together.

You brighten my days, you make me smile and you are just 4 months and 25 days since you are arrive in this world but it feels like you have been in my life ages ago. I love being your mother, i love watching you sleep, and that random smile that you give when you are asleep make gives me butterfly. I love playing with you, i love everything about you.

I pray that God protects you in everything and i pray that when you grow up you should know that pray is our number key to everything in this world. I pray that you grow up healthy, loving and so adorable. I pray that you find your way in this lofe and never take anything for granted. I love you Orendwaho Adivhaho Musipha/Rasalanavho. You are the gift i ever received and you are my true love.

Pray

The more you pray, the quicker you are going to know God’s purpose for your life. And the quicker you know your purpose, the more you will notice God using everything in your life, even the bitter and broken things, for your good and for the good of others.

Love is suppose to feel right.

Do not force thing if they aren’t working out, believe me it is not worth it. It is not worth your time nor your energy. Love is a beautiful thing, something so beautiful that can happen to me or to you. If she/he doesn’t love you as much as you deserve, you need to tell them how you feel about that, if they do not do something about it, or show little of concern about it nor your feelings you need to let go. Because they do not love you as much as you love them.

Love is suppose to feel right. When you say i am in love, you suppose to feel it not pretend to feel it. Do not sacrifice your own happiness just for the name of love. It hurt to love someone and never be loved in return. Do not let your heart to be filled with disappointment, have courage, have guts and little bit of faith that someday, somehow, in this lifetime you will be loved and you will love again.

Sometimes we dwell into relationships hoping thing will fall into places, knowing fully well that tomorrow your situation will still be the same. When you are in love you don’t have to feel depressed by it, you do not have beg for someone’s attention, you do not have to do things that you were not suppose to do, which you end up regretting. Love suppose to feel good, feel right, and excitement of it has to feel the void.

Love is a complex set of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs associated with strong feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for another person.

The pursuit of happiness

After watching this movie called pursuit of happiness i realise that, It really doesn’t matter how much pain and struggle one can endure. How many reject you have received in your lifetime. How many disappointments in your life you have experience. To pursue your happiness its all about how strong you are, physically and mentally, how far you are willing to go to achieve your goals /dreams. Will you give up that easy, will you throw away the towel or will you fight for your happiness. Other people work two job so that they can be able to support their family, yes its hard but at the end of the day its worth it.

When the movie goes to deep, i was sad and crying that even his wife left him but he told her that if she is leaving his son stays, fully knowing that he doesn’t have a paying job, he was struggling but he gotta to hold on to his son so he can keep on pursuing

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The beginning of a new chapter. (in my life)

Her name is Orendwaho Adivhaho Rasalanavho, she is only 3 months and 3 weeks old. She was born on the 16 may 2019, a day that i will never forget, the beginning of an new chapter in my life.

My angel sent from the heaven. The day that she was born i felt something in my soul, something changing, something that i never felt before, the unconditional love exploding, and i lay my eyes on her and ever since then she was all i think about every minutes of everyday.

She spent few hours without opening her eyes but when she does, they were beautiful, my own identity, my better half, my daughter and i was so grateful and so happy. I never knew i could possess so much love for one person. I never thought someone can take over my heart just like that. Jesus she is everything and much more..

Her smiles melt my heart, she literally make me happy without even trying. I pray that one day i can be able to offer her a better life.

Since she arrive i have found peace, and i feel like my life is where it should be. “There is nothing as powerful as mother’s love, and nothing as healing as a child’s soul.”

My princess, my pride and joy, my pumpkin, my life, my love, my cute and adorable daughter. I never liked the idea of sleepless night but the ones with you are worth it. To wake up in the morning and lay my eyes on you is priceless, and to know am spending the night next to you is everything to me. You are my world.

I truly love you so much.

To my daughter. Never forget that I love you. Life is filled with hard times and good times, but I will always have your best interest at heart.

Love your amazing mom.

PAIN… A NEW DIFFERENT KIND..

They say just like a grief, pain also occur in different stages or let me just say that there are different stages of pain. This was a new one…. To what i was feeling was beyond, it was so deep to what i have felt before, it was something new and it violently demanded to be felt, in a way pain never demanded before. It’s the kind of pain that swoops in and overtake everything . I felt like i was losing my breath, i felt like something in me is being removed forcefully. Like everything you do just remind you of how much you are struggling and you have no idea on how to stop this pain, all you can think about is, what if i could just stop breathing, only just for a moment, will i be alright, when i catch my breath will i still feel this horrible pain again. It beats me hard to the core.

….. They say that depressed and suicidal people do not really want to die, they just want the pain to stop and the only way to stop is to stop living. That where i was at. I was so weak and i did not have any strength to fight it, the pain took over….. I gave up and allow the pain to have me. It was so hard for me to raise above, it was a new pain.

I Am A Women…

Strong women aren’t simple born. We are forged through the Challanges of life. With each challange we grow mentally and emotionally. We move forward with our head held high and with a strength that can not be denied. A women who have been through storm and survive, A women who fought battle and won, A women who believes that God wont give us a challanges that we wont be able to find a solution, A women that does not lose hope, who is always hoping because having faith helps her to face the following day, A women who fell down and raise above like it was nothing. We are warrior’s. I am one of those women.