I am Claiming 2019 as a Great Year.

It is time for new beginnings. So much is clearing out of your life. New energy is entering. You might be experiencing a lot of mental, physical, and spiritual transformations that’s unlocking new levels within yourself. Be patient and prioritize self-care and self-love right now.

“So you must take time to rest and recover. You don’t always have to be so busy or pushing yourself so hard. Step back and take care of yourself. Those moments of self-care will add value, energy, purpose, and creativity to everything you do. Find a healthy balance and enjoy your life.” Idil Ahmed

Change the words you use to describe yourself. Let each word you speak amplify your potential. The more you think and speak of yourself in a positive way, the more you begin to open up all the possibilities of the universe that are waiting to bless you for loving who you are.

I’m already claiming 2019 as a great year; mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually. I know great things will align for me.

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I smile

  1. Today is the new day, where are my blue sky, where is the love and the joy you promised me, today is a new day but there is no sunshine, nothing bit clouds and its dark in my heart, and it feels like a coldnight, its not easy but today its a new day. The holly ghost power fell from heaven like a shower now and i smile by Kirk Franklin.

Today i woke up and i was playing this song and i realise that even though this past few months has been hard for me, nothing seems to be going the way i wanted. The truth is, its hard and i have been dealing with alot of this. I felt like i am being pulled from both directions.

Its very hard to look up when you are down. I just listen to this song by Kirk Franklin and to be honest it took me to places. Truly we do look much better when we pray and when we smile. Sometimes we get consumed easly by the problem that we are facing, because sometimes it seems like there is nothing left. Today i chose to smile even though i have nothing much to smile about. The mighty God sees you/me, he always has plans planned for me/you.

Everything happen for a reason and i would like to believe that it is for the right reason. GOD NEVER DISAPPOINT. We just have to be patient, because i see his mercy everyday.

Praise the lord, oh my soul.

Today i chose to smile because God has never forsaken me.

Sometimes happiness comes from letting go

For the past 3 years of my life i was putting you first, you use to mean everything to me, i even put your happiness first before mine. I thought that was love, to show you how much you are appreciate but i was wrong, all i was doing, i was just hurting myself. It’s funny because i never see it that way, to me it was love and to you, you were just taking advantage of my innocent, my love, it hurt to think about it.

Yeah, i wont denied it, at first you did all the good things, i felt i met my soul mate but even with that i was wrong. I loved you, i cared for you but you never showed me that. It hurts, or let me say it use to hurt alot. Asking for affection, who asked to be kissed, who askes to be told that i love you from the person you are in relationship, i did ask you, yes it felt as if i was desperate to be loves by you.

Deep down i cried wondering what have i ever do wrong to deserve this. Sometime i ask myself was i a fool that i forgive everytime even though it was not my fault. I loved you, believe that, but tears made me wonder if this is what love and happiness felt like, and i decide to let you go. It hurt believe me but i had to do it for my sake because i was drowning and all i did was trying to be the best i can. Still, you never see me, i was just a girlfriend that you used when ever you want. I know it took me too long to realise that it was just me alone in this relationship.

Get this i am happy, more than happy. I know i haven’t met my soulmate yet nor the love of my life. Anyway i have faith that i will because it doesn’t matter how old i will be or how long one must wait, sometimes love comes without expectating it. So i have learnt alot from you and i have grown in such a way that i know how to distinguish btwn good and bad love. I have fine without you, i have moved on like you never existed i have found inner peace within myself. And i have learnt to put myself happiness before anyone else. I am in a good space. My God is leading the way and i am following.

I am not a good public speaker.

Believe me when i say i am not a good public speaker kinder person, i only know how to express my self or speak through writings. Its very difficult for me to be on the spot lights and present, to be honest i end up feeling completely lost like i do not know and understand what am i talking about! i wish there was a medicine that helps to improve on public speech speaking. Sometimes i ask myself if there is something wrong with me. Why cant i cant i manage to present.

Its very sad for me as i even chose public relations as my major and i am a great student i dont fail, i pass with good grades but still its very difficult for me to present, i only get lower marks when i present. I keep wondering, beating my self up on why cant i just be like other students .

This year i was even chosen to be a class representative that i can do but presentation it is a different thing to me. When i go to the stage to present i end up saying things that are out of the content/topic. Can someone help me, advice, give tips or i just have communication anxiety.

violence of this universe

Not that there is evidence to suggest that the violence at schools may be directly attributed to neglect of general public education sector mostly in the townships and rural areas, there is a possibility that these issues could be positively correlated. Violence happens in underfunded and poorest areas in south Africa than in high-end private and public schools. we may be looking at using  police to secure schools but the problem could be much more complex than we care to admit.

egg power fear hammer
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SELF-ACCEPTANCE, SELF-LOVE

close up of tree against sky
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Nothing destroys self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love faster than denying what you feel. There is nothing as good as being able to control, your inner and outer feelings, there is always a price to pay, if you choose to ignore the message that your inner-self is sending you. If you feel unworthy you’ll become unworthy. On the flip side, if you feel worthy you’ll become worthy and add value to this world around you.